S: Who are you?

R: That is a big question. I have no idea. So yeah, my name is Roman. I'm 29 years old. I was born in South Moravia.

S: How would you describe your childhood?

R: I had quite a normal childhood, but when I was eight, my parents divorced. Now, thinking back, it was quite uncomfortable for me. My parents were fighting all the time, and they both had new, not very happy relationships. Because of this, I escaped to Prague after I finished school and studied international conservatory. There was singing, acting and dancing all together.

S: Sounds like a great place to meet guys?

R: Haha yes. I had an older boyfriend for almost three years. He was my first boyfriend, and he helped me a lot.

S: How much older was he? And how did he help you?

R: Oh, he was… I don't know. I forget. But I know that he was younger than my mother (laughs). Let's say 36. And I was 15 when we start to be together. Which is a bit crazy!

He showed me that there was more to the world than my small village. He took me with him to Dubai.This was my first time travelling abroad and ever since then I just want to travel more and more. And know more, and learn more. To live my life.

S: Are you still in touch with him?

R: No. No, because he probably didn't change. He loved me but it was his own style of love. He always paid me everything blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And after, you know, let's say seven, eight years, we met and it was the same story. He had some young boy and he paid him like, you know, for whitening the teeth for 8000 Crowns (330 Euro) blah blah blah. Still the same bullshit.

S: What is love?

R: Only now, at 29 years old, I start to realise what real love is. I think that love is something that when you know someone who is here for you. For example, not not only in a good time.

S: How would you describe your ethnicity?

R: Roma, but you can call me Gypsy. I don’t need to specify whether Gypsy or Roma is right. I refer to myself as Gypsy because it's international. I don't care, you know, I don't feel bad energy when someone calls me gypsy. I don't have a problem with my ethnicity.

S: So tell me, what does it mean to be gay and gypsy?

R: You probably want some different answer, but yea, it’s totally okay for me to be gay. In my family, we don’t live in a close gypsy community. And we don't believe in God, you know, so it's not something special for us. My Grandfather doesn’t understand it, but it’s not because he’s gypsy. He’s just old and communist.

I think that living in this time is amazing. It's perfect for us (homosexuals). I'm living in a small village. And I'm absolutely relaxed to walk with my boyfriend on the street in my village and talk with my father, or anyone. And I don't care if someone's thinking about these two guys together, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I know this is something new for the older generation in my village but I don’t care. They probably say things like “ah look, there is Roman with his boyfriend blah blah”, but, you know, it’s nothing more than that. It really doesn’t bother me what they think. You know, for example, when there was communism in my country, it was impossible. It was illegal when two boys lived together. So now we can do everything. I know maybe it's it's not everyone can agree with my view. But I think that my view is also not… Not bad.

S: Do you know of many openly gay men in the Gypsy community?

R: Ahh, yes, I know some. But many, many gay gypsies have a problem and they live a different life. In secret, more traditional. And it's only because they are gypsy.

S: Do you find gypsy men sexy?

R: Oh yes! Honestly, I think that gypsy boys have a big potential because they are different. It's exotic. But the problem is that they sometimes don't have a quality living standard or education. They work manual labour with heavy stones and tools and stuff, but they don’t go to the gym after work and they don’t perfectly clean their bodies, if you know what I mean. They don’t have proper hygiene. So they don't have nice teeth. (Laughs). Because, you know, for example, look at my father! He probably only cleaned his teeth twice in his life. His childhood was very, very poor. My grandfather was born next to a river. So yeah, I think that I'm a really really lucky gypsy.

S: Have you had sex with any gypsies?

R: Yes, I had.

S: And? Was it good?

R: Yeees, it was good, but I still didn't have enough. (Laughs)

S: What kind of guys are you into?

R: They should be musculatory. Is it right word?

S: Muscular?

R: Yes, muscular. And they must be, it is necessary, REAL MEN.

S: It seems like you enjoy being naked. Do you like showing off your body?

R: Yeah, that's because I work hard on my body. I think that I am… exhibition.

S: Exhibitoionist?

R: Yes. It is also because God gave me a big dick. So I have no reason to be ashamed.

S. What’s your favourite part of your body?

I don't think that I have a best part. I think if I like something… that's my hands. I think my fingers. Because it’s the only thing I see that is manly on me, and I want to look manly because I know that boys like it. But, to be honest, if I'm thinking about myself, I think that something inside me is a woman. But I want to push it down (repress it) because I want to look masculine. Maybe when I will be 50 and I will have an old, awful face then I will do some plastic. I really, you know, everything. Even some big tits! (Laughs) It is joke only, you know? In a relationship, I'm the part of the woman. I am the one who is in the kitchen.

S: Do you feel effeminate?

R: I feel sometimes feminine but I push it down. I don't need to have long hair and high heels. No, no. I have a balance.

S: So you’re not Single?

R: No, I am not single. I hope not, maybe, because my boyfriend is listening. I will tell you in one hour. (Laughs)

S: Are you and your boyfriend exclusive?

R: Yes.

S: How long have you been together for?

R: Who knows? Laughs… maybe half year.

S: Do you want kids some day?

R: No. Firstly because I have a younger brother and sister, and I want to help my parents take care of them.

And secondly, no. Absolutely not! I am a man, and so is my partner. It’s just not natural for two men to have a child. I think in this world there are too many children who need help.

S: Tell me about your village.

R: Yeah, so my village has around 6000 people, I guess. Its called Uerský Ostroh, and it has a really rich history. It used to be a very, very rich village. But after the Second World War, something absolutely changed. It's unusual, but 50% of our city was Jewish. And after the war they all disappeared. So everything business was basically just gone. Terrible.

S: Was the gypsy community also targeted in the war?

R: I think here it was normal like many other cities, but we had two cities closeby, which were very open to gypsies. They fought for us in the second world war. It didn't always work, which is sad, but they helped us.

S: Can you tell me a bit about your house you live in?

Yeah, my house. I'm happy because I have a small half of our family house, which my father bought, let's say 15 years ago. My father and I are renovating it ourselves, step by step. And I'm living in my part. This winter will be the first winter. It’s a work in progress, it's maybe a bit dangerous (laughs). I am happy to have some privacy, which is very, very important for me.

This is the first year that I don’t feel like I have to escape to Spain or France because I don’t have privacy. Yes, I still want to travel and experience more than just Uerský Ostroh, but for the first time I have a regular job. I think that I'm making really nice money.

S: How is it to live next door to your father?

R: FUUUCK! (Laughs)...

S: Haha, okay… next question…

S: What do you do for a living?

I am working with gravestones, tombstones. And something that I do is very specific because it's difficult. I write the name on the stone (engraving & gilding). So, there is big potential, because not many people do this.

S:Where did you learn to do this?

R: I learn it for myself on the internet, youtube. And I had some consultation with an old man because there is no other possibility to go to school for this anymore in my country.

S: How do you find clients?

R: I'm just, yeah, going to the cemetery and I'm asking people, “do you need something?”. Yeah, it's, it's maybe also a bit unusual. I have to say, it's not always very comfortable for me, but, pffff, I need money. We, everybody, need money. Sure, I could have a website and find clients like that, but I know that if I go to the cemetery I will always find people who need something and I can get money for bread.

S: Is it easy for you to talk to people who are grieving?

R: Not always because if someone is sad and they don't have money and need me, they are very uncomfortable and they become arrogant, very arrogant. Because they are in an uncomfortable situation. It's a bit selfish, but I look at it like work and nothing more.

S: Are you scared of dying?

R: It's a very difficult question, No, no, it's not a difficult question. It's just… I'm shy to answer because sometimes I want it.

S: Sometimes you want it?

R: Yeah, sometimes I want to die. I’m not afraid of dying, but sometimes I am scared of how it will happen. Something I think about every fucking day is, what else should I do to stay alive. Sometimes everything is too much. What is the point!? Where is the end, you know? It’s like, fuck, why is life so difficult? I have so many questions. What about people in Ukraine? What about people in Africa and yeah… But everybody we have our own problems and our own stories.

S: Growing up, who was the most influential person in your life?

R: Nobody from my family. I always wanted to be someone like Erin Brockovich, who will do something big and important and help many people.

S: Did you have no one to look up to?

R: No. I'm trying to be different than they are. Today I met an old man, 70 years old, in the street and we were talking about my mother, and he told me “oh you are the Roman from Yolana”. He was very, very nice, but then we started to talk about my family some more, and about gypsies, and he told me, he was shy, but he told me: “hmmm probably you are not very happy with your mother because she has a very bitchy lifestyle”. But I told him, I don’t care, I have my own life, and she still just tries to love me. Always trying, always trying.

S: Where did you learn how to love?

R: I think that I'm at the beginning. I am still learning. I know NOTHING about love. I’m trying. You do know what I'm trying? I'm trying to… I don't know how to explain in English… I'm trying to be calm. I’m trying so my boyfriend doesn't run away from me. Okay? It's very difficult for me, I'm always very temperamental. Or sometimes I'm always very, you know, nervous and impatient. I want everything now.

I spent two years in India running a charity project for 70 orphans. Life is very complicated. I don’t want to say it’s bullshit, because maybe one of these children will become the next president of India because of something I said to them. These children taught me a lot about love. I wanted to make them happy. And I wanted to show them that the world is just more than only India. After two years I realised I cannot change India, and I left.

S: Let’s shift gears, ok?. Do you like apples?

R: I love apples! I should eat them more. Do you know what? When my mother was nine months pregnant with me she was climbing the apple trees. Yeah, so maybe that’s why I like it.

S: Let's talk a little bit about how you and I met. Do you remember?

R: Of course I remember! We met in France. I was working at one of the most popular gay guesthouses in Europe.

S: And what were your duties?

I have to say that I did EVERYTHING around the hotel. I didn't do marketing. I didn't do, like, business things. But I did everything else.

S: Did you ever have sex with the guests?

R: Yeah, a few times, but it was… umm… I wanted more. Yeah, it was very difficult because they were guests. So you know, I had to behave myself. I had to be calm. The guesthouse is very exclusive and the guests were very very intelligent. I always had a good “touch” with them, and sometimes if I said “no” to someone and they wanted me, I felt “bad energy”. But I never had any bad experiences, and they never made me feel like I was a piece of meat.

S: Can you recall any funny situations, in particular?

R: Oh yeah, I remember this one couple that wanted me (laughs). Probably a lot!. There were three times when I swept the 1st floor terrace, and each time they had open doors and they fucked like crazy at 7 o’ clock in the morning. I wanted one of them so badly, he was Brazilian and he had a really huge dick. But at this time I had a “little health problem” (giggles), so I couldn't do anything. But I really wanted to. I was like… oh! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Haha

S: So, life in the South of France was quite different to your life now in Czech Republic?

R: Absolutely, it was one big holiday. But I don't want to go back. I don't want to live that life again. I'm very happy that now I'm standing on my own two feet. I just want to be in control of my own life and write my own story. I want to be more and more creative because the older I get, I realise it’s something I need. I need to do something very creative.

S: Is there anything you miss about France?

R: Yes, the naked beach at Cap d’Agde.

S: Of course :) How often did you go there?

R: Oh, I wanted to be there every day. Every fucking day. It was crazy. I met really really nice people there. And I can say that we are friends till now. But also, during this time I was absolutely out of control. Uncontrolled. I was like, you know, dog in shop with meat. I wanted to touch every fucking dick! And you know I was so tired after six orgasms... crazy, crazy. Salt and sand on the dick... Oh oh oh!

S: Is there anything you don’t miss?

Oh, can I be very open?

S: Yeah.

R: I don't miss to be bitch for someone. They (the hotel owners) were always very very nice to me. But now I am in control of my own life, and for me, it is better. When I was in France, it was a part of my life when I was totally lost. I had no idea what was going on in my life. Nowadays, I know I'm still crazy. But I have a view to the future.

S: What is your vision for the future?

All I know is, I want to be more creative. I bought a big machine and soon I want to start making Urns. Hopefully it’s a good business. Who knows? Maybe it will work. Maybe we will expand to other countries, or maybe not. We’ll see.

I want peace. It doesn’t really matter what I end up doing, I just want peace. But, I think I will have peace when I will own my own life. And nobody else. You understand?

S: Yes, so you want to be independent?

R: Yeah. I want to make my own products. Like I said, urns for example. And I don't want to have a big business with many people working for me. No, no, no, no, no, I want to have some small company with few people, like my mother and my boyfriend for example, make good money but don't have many troubles. I never saw a person who has a big big business and is happy. And I realise now that I’m getting older that stress is just not good for me. I want to be more calm.

R: Are gipsies really psychic?

I will be realistic, I think that gipsies are big liars! Yes, because, you know, they didn't have many possibilities because of communism, and because of the Second World War. So they wanted to find something which could make them money. But my own experience is, I think that many people, including me, have a strong intuition.

S: Yeah? Are you psychic?

Maybe. What scares me is my dreams. Sometimes, I have a dream, which I just don't understand, but then I'm dreaming about something. And they happen in real life. Not always, of course. Sometimes I have some troubles, and then I have a dream. For example, it's one year ago, almost. I had a dream that I have syphilis. And then, in the morning, one guy texted me, telling me that I should go to the doctor because he tested positive for syphilis. I went to get tested and everything was negative including gonorrhoea, including chlamydia, everything. Yeah, but can you imagine this!? I have more situations like this, but I can't remember now… sometimes, I'm scared about it. Because many times I am right. Sometimes when I'm dreaming about something, I'm like, oh, fuck, no, I hope it's not real. I hope it will not happen!!!

S: What’s your favourite colour?

R: I love all colours because all of them are important, you know, I think that my life is very funny and creative and so I'm not okay with only one of them.

S: What do you like to do in your free time?

I'm always trying to fill this time and to do something that needs to be done. So I'm always trying to do work because, you know, I don't like to rest. I’m always trying not to have free time. I am alway busy.

S: What do you like in bed?

R: I need to pee. Give me a sec.

S: I need to pee too! Let’s pee together.

*** 5 minutes later ***

S: So, where were we?… What do you like in bed?

R: I like to be, you know, if you imagine a woman in bed. I love it! I love to be passive! I love to suck especially, and I have a real balls addiction. Because I think that it's the most important part of a man… like this, makes a man be a real man.

S: And what do you like to do with the balls?

R: Everything! Lick it, suck it… Everything. And also, I love piss! OMG! I miss it, I love it when a boy pisses on me. Especially in my mouth. OMG I’m starting to be hard.

S: Do you like to cuddle?

R: I love it. But my boyfriend, he is like hetero. He's a very, very strange type. So I still need to ask him for a kiss, for example. He never gives me a kiss by himself. I always need to ask him for it.

S: So he doesn’t like to kiss?

R: Never on the lips. Only on the side. On the cheek.

S: But you like to kiss?

R: Yes, but um, okay, but, but but but… when he puts his dick in my mouth I'm okay. I don't need to kiss.

S: Okay… I feel like we’ve covered a lot. Any final thoughts, anything you want to add?

R: Not really, you had many many good questions. But I'm thinking now, some little girls have a dream to be princess or to be a singer, you know? Even now, my mind is not closed to the idea of being something like an actor or a performer because I studied at this school in Prague, you know? Not a model, but something like this… it’s a very big ambition and I think it's crazy and stupid, but it's still in my mind. I can imagine myself on the big screen.

Published in issue 32 of BUTT magazine (2023)